Not A Cool Morning... At All...
Okay I have 15 minutes to write about life this morning before going back to work. Oh yeah baby, it's 15 minutes only and I just had a distraction from Telkomsel guy calling and selling their product like ring back tone. I wonder how they select customer to be called and offered with product. I guess they just call us and offer everything without analyzing which product appeal to our interest and which one will become a major turn off (ring back tone in my case :p).
Anyway.. where am I now? Oh about life this morning.
Let's start with last night, I tried to go to bed early but failed. It was around midnight when I finally fell asleep. And as consequence I woke up doing my morning prayer with 20% sanity, fell asleep again until si pacar called at around 8. I planned to come earlier than the usual actually so it was kinda messy morning with lots of 'crap crap crap' from my mouth :(
Morning dilemma of what to wear took me more than 10 minutes *sigh* until finally I decided to just go super casual (read: not thinking type of outfit). And then there weren't any ojeg stand by so I had to go with someone I don't know. He is a crazy ojeg driver!!! That's all I can say after we almost got hit once by car, and nearly hit 2 other motorcycles (1 from the back and 1 from our right side). And he didn't use any helmet, so I had to stop far away from the place I can hail taxi. While walking to the taxi stand, rushing, I accidentally hit a big stone and fell in front of a big building beside Trans TV. And yes, it's still hurt to the bones now. Me and my unstable feet :D
Anyway I got in the cab and called si pacar and he said that he was in his mood of bete towards me. I am not sure whether he's bete from last night (I guess so) or only this morning. But whenever it started I said to myself: what a perfect morning to start my day!!!
So I decided to just stop the conversation right away. I had enough things happened so I have limited tolerance to be given to him. The thing is that his bete of course has to do with my history of life. I use to accept it (hardly) but I just could not do it this morning. Because this is me and my life, my history. And if people get hurt because of that I would say sorry although I believe it is not necessary to be done.
The thing is.. becoming the reason of his bete do hurt me. Simply because I feel that I am not accepted as I am and for the rest of my life I will not be good enough. So yes, I stop the conversation not because I am angry but just because I want to stop the feeling of less than human that I feel whenever he start the bete session. Picking my battle, wise people say. I believe I am a good person so I don't deserve to be treated badly. This is who I am and I don't feel sorry for myself. If the best in me is not good enough for you then it's your loss.
Okay now it's almost 20 minutes pass by (I think the Telkomsel guy call can be used as time discount :p). I am about to go back to work. I know I am good at work so let's hit it! Cheer up cheer up!
*turn Lady Gaga play list on* :))
Anyway.. where am I now? Oh about life this morning.
Let's start with last night, I tried to go to bed early but failed. It was around midnight when I finally fell asleep. And as consequence I woke up doing my morning prayer with 20% sanity, fell asleep again until si pacar called at around 8. I planned to come earlier than the usual actually so it was kinda messy morning with lots of 'crap crap crap' from my mouth :(
Morning dilemma of what to wear took me more than 10 minutes *sigh* until finally I decided to just go super casual (read: not thinking type of outfit). And then there weren't any ojeg stand by so I had to go with someone I don't know. He is a crazy ojeg driver!!! That's all I can say after we almost got hit once by car, and nearly hit 2 other motorcycles (1 from the back and 1 from our right side). And he didn't use any helmet, so I had to stop far away from the place I can hail taxi. While walking to the taxi stand, rushing, I accidentally hit a big stone and fell in front of a big building beside Trans TV. And yes, it's still hurt to the bones now. Me and my unstable feet :D
Anyway I got in the cab and called si pacar and he said that he was in his mood of bete towards me. I am not sure whether he's bete from last night (I guess so) or only this morning. But whenever it started I said to myself: what a perfect morning to start my day!!!
So I decided to just stop the conversation right away. I had enough things happened so I have limited tolerance to be given to him. The thing is that his bete of course has to do with my history of life. I use to accept it (hardly) but I just could not do it this morning. Because this is me and my life, my history. And if people get hurt because of that I would say sorry although I believe it is not necessary to be done.
The thing is.. becoming the reason of his bete do hurt me. Simply because I feel that I am not accepted as I am and for the rest of my life I will not be good enough. So yes, I stop the conversation not because I am angry but just because I want to stop the feeling of less than human that I feel whenever he start the bete session. Picking my battle, wise people say. I believe I am a good person so I don't deserve to be treated badly. This is who I am and I don't feel sorry for myself. If the best in me is not good enough for you then it's your loss.
Okay now it's almost 20 minutes pass by (I think the Telkomsel guy call can be used as time discount :p). I am about to go back to work. I know I am good at work so let's hit it! Cheer up cheer up!
*turn Lady Gaga play list on* :))
posted by nana at 10:40 AM
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