Get Prepared
I just read something from Dexter, a movie character that I kinda like. He said something like: nothing can prepare you for what's coming next. This is of course about the next season of the series. But those words hit my head and gave a reality check.
I just had a conversation with si pacar this afternoon. About the future. About something big that we want. About my anxiety. About his careful manner. About hard work that he needs to do. About my insecurity (his also). About bottle neck and burden. About my pessimistic state of mind. About giving more to our relationship and expect less. About holding back and get prepared for the worse.
Yes, expect less and preparing for the worse. Those are mine. I am just too scared of losing everything that we have. I am afraid that I am scared to be happy as well. So I tend to build high wall to protect myself. Confusing because once si pacar quoted that loving is to be ready to get hurt, yet I am so scared of it.
And then Dexter said that no matter how busy we do things, we will never get prepared for what's coming next. I am awaken by those words. No matter how high walls that I build, when it comes to the worse with si pacar, I will never be ready.
So I guess I really need to cherish what I have now. I'll just do the best that I can do and be happy for both of us :) Keep him happy. Stay beside him at anytime. And giving trust that he will do any necessary action for both of us. And with that trust I will control my anxiety and learn to be positive that we can do it. Starting today I will not talk about that topic as long as I can. Hope he understands that my silence is a waiting and I need to be updated to ease my mind and heart.
Status: dizzy
I just had a conversation with si pacar this afternoon. About the future. About something big that we want. About my anxiety. About his careful manner. About hard work that he needs to do. About my insecurity (his also). About bottle neck and burden. About my pessimistic state of mind. About giving more to our relationship and expect less. About holding back and get prepared for the worse.
Yes, expect less and preparing for the worse. Those are mine. I am just too scared of losing everything that we have. I am afraid that I am scared to be happy as well. So I tend to build high wall to protect myself. Confusing because once si pacar quoted that loving is to be ready to get hurt, yet I am so scared of it.
And then Dexter said that no matter how busy we do things, we will never get prepared for what's coming next. I am awaken by those words. No matter how high walls that I build, when it comes to the worse with si pacar, I will never be ready.
So I guess I really need to cherish what I have now. I'll just do the best that I can do and be happy for both of us :) Keep him happy. Stay beside him at anytime. And giving trust that he will do any necessary action for both of us. And with that trust I will control my anxiety and learn to be positive that we can do it. Starting today I will not talk about that topic as long as I can. Hope he understands that my silence is a waiting and I need to be updated to ease my mind and heart.
Status: dizzy
posted by nana at 9:49 PM
2 Comments:
You might want to pay attention closely to following words :
I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, until death do us part.
So, masa depan yg kayak gimana yg lo takutin?
*senyum kalem*
Booook masa depan dimana gw will not be able to say that vow kaleee...
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