Frequent Travellers, Be Alert

It is 40 minutes before my next departure to Bangkok. Another attempt to enter the Kingdom of Thailand ;) And I am sitting in the departure lounge, having my cappuccino, try to remember what had I saw last night in BBC about common illness that can be caused from constant traveling.

Okay, the report said that traveling 14 – 15 days a month is way too much.

Usually a frequent traveler is very into schedule. Hmmm reflecting to myself, I think that’s true. I used to suspect that I have some kind of disorder or living in an autistic spectrum because I am into schedule. I can get different level of stress when the flight is delayed, the bus stop too long, my pick up is not on time, e-mails are not answered, etc. Even when I am not on travel, I can get irritated when si pacar cannot be contacted in time when I need his confirmation about our plan and schedule. Things for other people considered minor can become major distraction for me :p

And the stress will cause me more desire to eat ehehehehe… Yes that’s the fact. The more I travel more weight I gained. Nice isn’t it *sigh* Hmmm within this 3 weeks of travel in Thailand, Lao and Cambodia I gain more or less 2 kg already.

The report said that an understanding from the travelers themselves is very much needed. We have to always be alert about symptom of emotional un-balance, fatigue, eating disorder, etc. Watch your schedule,try as much as possible to exercise, get sometimes to relax during your travel (yoga...anyone? :p), watch your diet.

But employers should also be conscious and give a more flexibility and consideration to employee that have to travel a lot. Which I cannot respond properly other than using bahasa term: mimpi kali yeeeee :p

Wifi Defficiency

2 days ago I said like this to Menno: we will be fine without wifi, for God shake.. Won't we? And he replied: yes we can, for a while...
And that night when diner had pass 2,5 hours time and the rain started to come, almost everybody in our table start to check their mobile phone. Come on boys.. We are all foreigners. I know among us only Piseth who will get connected to the worldwide web anywhere in PP, instantly, so stop looking at your blackberry or iPhone :p

Oh well.. been staying in this hotel for 3 nights and i am suffering of wifi defficiency :p

Cambodia.. Phnom Penh to be precise. I never have any complain before about wifi. It's almost everywhere for free in many places in the town. But in this hotel I wonder why they don't have a good one :(

I need it badly coz wifi is the tool for me to get in touch with si pacar frequently. So this morning I am sitting nicely at the lobby in pursuit of better wifi connection, in the middle of crowded boys from Singapore Catholic School waiting for their bus to come. Yeah right... I really want to scream to them to shut up :p

Wifi..wifi..

Get Prepared

I just read something from Dexter, a movie character that I kinda like. He said something like: nothing can prepare you for what's coming next. This is of course about the next season of the series. But those words hit my head and gave a reality check.

I just had a conversation with si pacar this afternoon. About the future. About something big that we want. About my anxiety. About his careful manner. About hard work that he needs to do. About my insecurity (his also). About bottle neck and burden. About my pessimistic state of mind. About giving more to our relationship and expect less. About holding back and get prepared for the worse.

Yes, expect less and preparing for the worse. Those are mine. I am just too scared of losing everything that we have. I am afraid that I am scared to be happy as well. So I tend to build high wall to protect myself. Confusing because once si pacar quoted that loving is to be ready to get hurt, yet I am so scared of it.

And then Dexter said that no matter how busy we do things, we will never get prepared for what's coming next. I am awaken by those words. No matter how high walls that I build, when it comes to the worse with si pacar, I will never be ready.

So I guess I really need to cherish what I have now. I'll just do the best that I can do and be happy for both of us :) Keep him happy. Stay beside him at anytime. And giving trust that he will do any necessary action for both of us. And with that trust I will control my anxiety and learn to be positive that we can do it. Starting today I will not talk about that topic as long as I can. Hope he understands that my silence is a waiting and I need to be updated to ease my mind and heart.

Status: dizzy

In Waiting

I am trying to be brave and strong, and I am sure in a way I can do it.
But I can't deny that it's lonely in here. I miss everything about you, about us.
When will this can be end am not sure. I suppose we only know when the time is actually come.

And all I want is to stay wherever you are

Kangen

Memulai hari ketiga tanpa bisa mendengar suaramu. Sungguh sangat berat. Tapi ini adalah harga dari kebodohanku. Selama apapun ini akan terjadi, aku harus kuat karena aku mencintaimu dengan sangat dan telah berjanji untuk selalu bersama saling menjaga dalam suka dan duka. Kamu adalah rumahku, dan hanya ke sanalah aku akan kembali.

Aku rindu.

Thailand - Month 1

ini hari ketiga di bulan pertama my assignment in Bangkok. I feel devastated.

Because: I MAKE SI PACAR ANGRY! No not angry, he's mad.. He's furious!!
Sebabnya? Karena kebodohanku tidak sempurna menghapus bekas2 dari my past relationship. No need to explain more deh, I am guilty because I should know this's sensitive and important for him. Sementara aku? With my lack of attention to detailes and habit not to look back to the past once it's decided to be stoped, I even don't know those thing is there. And I innocently handed over my laptop, with that stupid content, to him. Can I be any stupid, guilty, should be blamed?

Dan my 3 days is a disaster. I am not going anywhere today. So what I can report to the world about this journey is only:
First
Aku baru tau 2 cara menuju ke kantor. Pertama langsung pake taksi. It will cost 50 bath one way. Kedua pake BTS, 10 bath karena hanya 1 stasiun + tuktuk ke dalam 20 bath. Jalan kaki dari apartemen ke Saphan Khwai station will be 25min in my speed. With you we should make it 35 min I think, luv *nangis lagi*

Kedua
Sudah nemu tukang jahit di deket sini dan laundry murah just in case aku males nyuci sendiri. Tempat makan murah juga udah liat beberapa. Sorry gak bisa nambah referensi tempat makan hari ini, I am staying in bed the whole day.

Ketiga
I think I will stay in this place. Not in the mood of looking for another place. But I still cannot access the wifi I expensivelly paid though.

Sudah, itu saja. I don't know what to think about but si pacar and our relationship. I've been loving him for so long I cannot give up. If I have to suffer because he'll mad at me for the rest of our life I'll do it. He's just too important.

Status: want to call off this stupid appointment in Bangkok.