Being Alone

Sometimes it is not easy to define my status, whether I am single or in relationship :) This's path of life that I have to bear at the moment and I hope it will over soon.  Whatever result I will get I think it doesn't matter anymore.  I only need a clear answer, a resolution.

And at the end if I have to be all alone again, I guess it's alright.  I am not saying that I will not feel sad and desperate and things like that.  Just wanna say that I will face my situation as path that I may have to take and I'll take all responsibilities that come with it.

This is my journey to find my best friend in life.  Because although I came and will leave this world alone, in between, I need someone to rely on.  I need someone with whom I share this life.  I need someone who's available for me just like I am for him.

My journey of search is much difficult and longer compare with other people I know.  It's okay..this's my life not theirs.  As much as I cannot deny that there's always part of me that loving you so much, sunshine.. but at the same time I know something is growing inside of me.  The feeling that telling I should be okay if we're not meant to be together on this life.  That I'll keep you in my heart because if I take you out I am scared I will never be able to heal the scars.

*sigh*

Situasi saat ini sungguh sudah masuk dalam kategori kampret jaya :((

Entah Apa Lagi...

Mengapa harapan-harapan ini selalu tumbuh kembali?  Padahal aku terus berusaha untuk berfikir dan bersikap realistis bahwa situasinya sekarang sunguh sangat sulit untukku.  Apa lagi sih yang aku harapkan dari hubungan ini?  Tidak ada kejelasannya, bahkan setiap upaya untuk membicarakan pun selalu ditolak dan pupus saat baru dimulai.

God help, this is too much for me :((

Remembering What Used to be Good

Sekaleng kerupuk kampung terkadang bisa membawa khayalan terbang sangat jauh.  Memandang foto sekaleng kerupuk kampung, taken by you, made me wish for me to be able to turn back time.  Seandainya waktu bisa diputar, I would make you mine and never let you go.

Tapi kan kita nggak bisa memutar balik waktu untuk memperbaiki peristiwa ya.  Jadi lebih baik saya bersyukur atas kesempatan 1.5 tahun yang diberikan untuk bersamamu.  Kalau memang hanya sepanjang waktu itulah hak saya, I cherish and be grateful for that.  Sekarang ini mungkin saya masih berfikir itu tidak cukup dan tidak adil, tapi mudah-mudahan someday saya akan diberi kesempatan untuk melihat kembali dan menemukan bahwa waktu bersamamu itu sungguhlah periode yang paling pas dan sebaik-baiknya waktu memang harus hanya selama itu.

I really do love you, always...